Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last
If You Love Your Mate but Your Marriage Seems to Be Off Track, Then This Book Is for You
Psychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.
You'll also learn:
* More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage
* Frequent arguing will not lead to divorce
* Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship
* Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years
* There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments -- and there's a way around it
Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage -- contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling -- and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and -- Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
Product Details
Editorial Reviews
From Kirkus Reviews
From psychology professor (Univ. of Washington) and marriage researcher Gottman: an upbeat, easy-to-follow manual based on research into the dynamics of married couples. Gottman describes his studies as being akin to a CAT scan of a living relationship and asserts that he's been able to predict the future of marriages with an accuracy rate of over 90 percent. In 1983 and 1986, his research team monitored more than a hundred married couples in Indiana and Illinois with electrodes, video cameras, and microphones as they attempted to work out real conflicts. Using the information derived from these sessions, Gottman concludes here that a lasting relationship results from a couple's ability to resolve conflicts through any of the three styles of problem-solving that are found in healthy marriages- -validating, conflict-avoiding, and volatile. Numerous self-quizzes help couples determine the style that best suits them. Gottman points out, however, that couples whose interactions are marked by four characteristics--criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal--are in trouble, and he includes self-tests for diagnosing these destructive tactics, as well as steps for countering them. Interestingly, Gottman asserts that the basis of a stable marriage can be expressed mathematically: the ratio of positive to negative moments must be at least 5:1--and he offers a four-step program for breaking through negativity and allowing one's natural communication and problem-solving abilities to flourish. Mathematics and science aside, there's plenty of old- fashioned, helpful, and worthwhile advice here about gender differences, realistic expectations, love, and respect--advice that may appeal especially to those who enjoy taking quizzes and analyzing relationships. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
From the Back Cover
Psychologist John Gottman has spent 20 years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.
You'll also learn:
More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage
Frequent arguing will not lead to a divorce
Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship
Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years
There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments--and there's a way around it
Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage--contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling--and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
About the Author
John M. Gottman, Ph.D., whose breakthrough study of 2,000 married couples over two decades resulted in this book, is renowned for his ability to predict -- with 94 percent accuracy -- which people will stay married and which will divorce. He is a professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle.
Customer Reviews
An absolute must-read!
Hands down one of the best books I've ever read about relationships. You don't have to be married to appreciate this book. You can be in a budding relationship or one that may eventually lead to marriage. Whatever the case, there is something in this book you can learn and implement right away - to improve your relationship and make it one that will make you and your partner happy for years to come.
Why Marriages Succed or Fail
If you are wanting excellent and easy reading on marriage, commonications and relationships in general buy any and everything by John Gottman
Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail - John Gottman
This book provides excellent advice that is laid out logically, and is easy to understand and implement. A few simple changes can improve how your interact with your spouse.
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